I’ve noticed something in my life.  More so the last year of my life than ever, nevertheless I’ve always seen it.  I notice that people use religion, ok let’s not say religion, lets just say God, as a result of how things are going.  If situations are bad, God is punishing me, God is letting this happen to me.  If things are good, God is being good to me, God loves me, God is watching out for me.  I sit here day by day, pondering whether that is true or not.  If things get bad, people that doubt God have no problem blaming Him.  God did that to me, God caused this.  Why is that?  I think because we need something to blame.  Why are most Atheists, Atheist?  Because they believe God allowed something bad to happen to them, or simply don’t believe he exists because of what did happen to them.  The God that I worship doesn’t cause things to happen, He’s not harsh, and He’s not a smiting God.  I would think He would be compassionate.  

Lately, I can’t deny that I’ve sat and wondered why in the world my mother got breast cancer.  That is something that I simply can’t understand.  People ask me my opinion on it all the time.  Why it is she got it, because in my opinion, my mother is one of the most devout people I know.  Many could say, it’s a test.  Ok, so God is testing someone that is already devout, instead of affecting non-believers.  I really have a problem believing that.  I have a problem with people who think death is God’s will.  How can that be?  How can God allow a death of someone, and hurt so many people, just to have it play into a master plan?  I won’t believe that, and I don’t.  I’ve really struggled lately with the will of God.  I won’t lie.  Don’t get me wrong, I still believe, but things make it hard sometimes.  Hardships arise in my life, and I just ask myself, “Why? Why is this happening?”  I also realize that we aren’t puppets on this earth, but at the same time, if God’s will is set in stone, are we not puppets?  Let’s pretend for just a second that God’s will is going to happen, no matter what I do.  Why should I even care then?  Why should I get up and make anything of my life?  If I’m already destined to go to Heaven or Hell, what does it matter if I sin all day, and make the wrong choices in my life?  Those are questions that have and will always plague my mind.