Yeah, I accidently put 2005, just like I said I’d be doing for quite some time. It occurred to me today though that 2006 is going to be a good year. Now I’m not going to give you any arithmetical reason why (such as the 2+6 fiasco that was previously stated), but I just have a feeling it will be. Heck, I might as well try being a little more optimistic. I feel so restless lately. Maybe it’s all the time off that I had for the holidays, or maybe it’s just me? Time is such a conflict in my mind. Even after twenty years I can’t seem to grasp the concept. Why does it go by so fast? Make it stop please. It really does scare me. I’ll be twenty-one in a little over a month. That’s absurd. See I remember sitting in this exact place one year ago, writing about turning twenty. I hate it man! And it doesn’t seem like a year ago. As a child time passed so much slower! Why can’t we stay kids our whole life? See, growing older is just bad no matter how you look at it. 1) Time passes faster. 2) There are unfortunately to many important things in our life. 3) Life generally sucks. 4) Christmas isn’t as good. Four valid reasons indeed. I don’t remember feeling the need for a relationship as a kid either. See there’s my problem. I never needed a relationship until I realized what it was like, then you can’t escape that emotional addiction. See the Kelsey from a year ago would have done his best hide that, and not let anyone know, but he doesn’t work here anymore.

Isn’t it funny how much we change over time? Mentalities for one thing. My mentality on life right now is totally different than it was a year ago. I can’t really put into words how, but it is. It’s funny how our point of views on things change, and just changing that alters so many things in our life. A month ago I would have told you I was ready to marry a girl that tore my heart out. See now here comes another conflict: As much as I know I shouldn’t still have feelings for this girl, I do. A sad story? You may say so, but not really. Everyone can look in from the outside and say, “Why are you doing that, why do you go through things like that,” but if their own lives are considered, they have probably done something of equal stupidity. See I’m admitting that I’m an idiot, but we can’t control how we feel about people. We can’t turn a switch and change how we feel about someone. I don’t need friends that are going to tell me that I shouldn’t do things. To many of my current friends try that, and it’s so annoying. Just listen to me for a change, instead of trying to be a parent or something. Not a day goes by, not an hour, a minute, nor a second that she doesn’t cross my mind. I made the mistake of falling in love with someone that, apparently, didn’t love me back. What a world that we live in.